Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Why I love myself, and you should too!

Having a poor self image is something very common for most women. We pick ourselves apart and compare our uniqueness against others. We are bathed in a world where we feel we have to be liked by everyone. That is how our self worth is measured. Little by little, we adopt this warped way of thinking. If only we were a little bit skinnier, taller, or our chest was bigger, or our behind smaller/larger. One day we wake up with a list of things that need to change about ourselves, and once those things are accomplished, we can truly be happy, right? 
I have a confession to make. I love myself. I really do. It has not always been that way, but the love I now have for myself is priceless. 

Self love makes you want to take care of yourself. It also motivates you to be a better person. Some people are motivated by insecurities to be people pleasers, but the love I have for myself makes me help others because I feel so blessed. Loving yourself also makes you more attractive and builds your confidence. I know that I am my true best friend. Every bit of kindness you give yourself is just another brick in the foundation of self-love! 

Every day I love myself more. The more I love myself, the more I am able to love others!

There is a difference between being selfish and loving yourself. Selfishness is taking from others with little or no regard. Self-love is nurturing yourself so you are able to give back with strength and compassion. 

Personally I have learned that I have to focus on my needs first, and then, if I have the time, energy or desire... others. Self-love means self-care. I respect my emotional, physical and mental strengths, as well as my limitations. The things I choose to do in my life are based on if it would be good for me, rather then who it would please if I do so. 

I detach myself from people that live in fear, that focus on negativity or whine about how miserable they are. I do have compassion for them and acknowledge their pain, but I choose not to be around them and if I have to be around them, I do not take on their negativity, I let them keep it, I love myself too much! Instead I like to surround myself with peers that can make the best out of whatever situation life throws at them. I get hope, strength and inspiration from these types of people and I always fill my love meter up when I encounter them! 

Make time for laughter and fun. Find the humor in every situation and be kind to yourself. Everyone makes mistakes and it doesn't mean you are a failure. It's just an opportunity to learn! If you truly love yourself, you will be patient and meet your own needs. You will be empowered and inspired to embrace who you really are. You will learn when to say "no" and have no guilt or second guessing. 


I encourage you to love yourself a little bit more everyday and you'll learn what I've learned. 

I AM GOOD ENOUGH, I AM WORTHY, I BELIEVE AND I'M FREE.






 

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Polar Vortex Shopping Haul!


Brrrr! This weather is really beating us down here in Michigan the past few days. We're experiencing a Polar Vortex and it's not going to leave anytime soon. Lake Effect snow, strong winds and dropping temps (which is pretty much typical winter weather) has given  most of us cabin fever! 

The view from my back porch this evening

The weather was not going to stop me from getting out of the house! I let my husband drive us into town which is a 20 mile ride. We could go no faster than 40 mph with the slippery road conditions, but we made it! I don't see how people in Michigan, especially northern, buy vehicles without 4 wheel or ALL wheel drive, to me it's a MUST. We grabbed some lunch at one of our favs, Red Ginger and headed to browse the stores.

The 3 line highway was deserted


POLAR VORTEX HAUL! lol!
 




  • Rebecca Minkoff Flirty Bag: ok, so how cute is this BAG! I'm not really in the market for a new one since I bought my LV (review on that purse here), but when you run into a deal too good to pass up, you don't pass it up! This is a leather cross body that's quilted. It has polished studs on both sides of the purse and a chain and leather strap. It also has a leather tassel on one side. It's a classic petite purse. Currently it's sold out on Nordstrom's. I love her handbags, they give an elegant and edgy look. I scored such a deal, that I bought two of these bags. If you'd like to purchase the other one, you can at my eBay listing HERE.

  • This duo OPI pack I scored for $7.99. The shades take me to the summer, which I'm SO needing right now. The bottle on the left is called Did It On 'Em from the Nicki Minaj collection. You can see a full review of the polish with swatches here. The other color on the left is labeled "Frog in my throat". I tried to Google it to no avail. After a little research, I found out it's completely mislabeled (OPI doesn't make a color called that!) It is actually called Just Spotted the Lizard from the Amazing Spiderman Collection. More views and pics on this color here. This particular color is an amazing dup for Chanel's color Peridot which was a limited edition and not available anymore. You can pay the high dollar for it on eBay if you want it though. I totally scored!! 


  • If this doesn't scream summer I don't know what does! Neon all lace Jessica Simpson panties! They are shockingly colorful and pictured in a coral, purple and pink. I took the first picture without a flash and the second picture with a flash to show you just how vibrant the color really is. I would love a bathing suit in these shades. I prefer the airiness of lace and mesh underwear. I hope these are as comfortable as my Wacoal Women's So Seductive Hipster Panty that I can't live without. Just a little Valentine's gift to myself. These retail for $12.99 and I got them for $2.99. 


That is the end of my shopping haul. Feel free to leave me a comment or question below. I hope you all have a great weekend, stay warm!  



Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Our journey to a family (Part 2)

After I lost my daughter, I felt as though I had lost a of piece of myself. Imagine every hope, dream and aspiration you have being extinguished and there is NOTHING you could ever do to get it back. We had spent the spring and early summer preparing our house for this child that I was suppose to bring home. All the home improvement projects had been finished and the spare room was converted into a nursery. Now, as I walked up to the doorstep of our house, I felt loneliness, an empty feeling and I did not feel comfortable at home. We decided to take a week and travel. I had the idea to take one of the toys we bought for Mia and take it with us. We would vacation as though we were all together and take pictures at monuments and places we would have taken her. It felt like a great way to cherish her memory. I was told to take it easy after the delivery, I had a 6 week maternity leave but I needed to run from the pain I was feeling. I needed to see the world and realize that life must push on, it must press forward. I needed these moments to reflect and embrace the things that her birth and death taught me. 





Summer turned to fall and the pain in my heart was still strong. I gained about 10 pregnancy pounds and I decided I should be focused on my health. I started on an all organic and  mostly vegetarian diet. My husband joined me. The holidays came and went. 2013 started. We decided that we WANTED to be parents. Mia could never be replaced, but we wanted to try for another child. On January 29th I found out I was pregnant. I called the high risk OB doctors at University of Michigan and made an appointment to be seen in two weeks. I never made it to that appointment. On February 17th, I went to the emergency room because I was bleeding. I was transferred to another hospital and told I was having a miscarriage. Really? Was something wrong with me? My family physician reassured me that this was just a fluke. She too had experienced a miscarriage and stated she got pregnant the following month. I had nothing to worry about. I decided to make a appointment with the doctors at the University again to get consolation on my recent loss.

April came and we were at our in-laws to celebrate our birthdays (me and the husbands are 3 days apart from each other) and to my surprise I got ANOTHER positive pregnancy test the day BEFORE my University appointment. We went the next day to the appointment and told the physician we were pregnant.  All of our high risk scans and ultrasounds were scheduled. The entire timeline of this pregnancy was drawn out and I left feeling hopeful. This time, we were going to make it to 12 weeks so we could get that cerclage, and I would then be on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy. And then, it happened. I had another miscarriage at 6 weeks. It was all so much to take in. Why had I never heard of such things happening to other people? Why was this happening to me? What in the hell was going on?

I decided it was time to get an appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist (fertility doctor). I wanted to subject myself to every test they had to try to figure out if something was wrong with me or John. Recurrent miscarriages are not necessarily normal and I didn't want to keep this pattern going. The physical and emotional toll it takes it very complex and exhausting. I'd had enough. All the tests came back normal, except one. They tested my blood for a gene mutation called Prothrombin G20210A. Prothrombin is a protein that helps clot your blood. My genetic code causes me to have TOO much prothrombin, making my blood more likely to clot. I am heterozygous, which means I only have the gene from one parent. This mutation is found in only 2% of the Caucasian population and uncommon for African American, about 0.5%. I later had my mom tested and and found out she carries the mutation. This was what was likely causing my miscarriages. I was put on a 81mg baby aspirin daily, and told that I would need Lovenox shots when I became pregnant next time. 

I received the blood clotting information in May. John and I went away for Labor Day weekend for a music festival , one of the first normal activities we had done since the new year. I felt like now I had some missing pieces of the puzzle, and I should allow myself to breath! I had spent the last year with so much heartache, sacrifice and uncertainty. My brother was getting married in June and I just wanted to enjoy each moment. I wanted to have the summer to relax and not have to think about anything pregnancy or baby related. We had a wonderful, gorgeous summer filled with family, friends, sun and TONS of water. I let go of the anchor that was on my heart, and plunged it deep down in the waters of life. I missed my daughter, but I knew I had to let her go or I could not truly LIVE. I decided to honor her with the way I lived my life. I wanted her to be proud of me. I knew I had an angel watching over me. I felt like I could finally exhale, the tightness on my heart lessened just a bit. I smile when I realize what a blessing she has been in my life.

 
Me and John as my brothers wedding

September came and we consulted with our fertility doctor again. We got back on the baby making wagon! Back into the perplexity and stress! The doctor said that we were healthy and he did not see any problem with us conceiving on our own. We inquired about IUI (intrauterine insemination). He was fine with letting us proceed with this procedure. The first cycle we did with Femara and natural baby making technique (lol!). We did not get pregnant that cycle. The second cycle in October I took the Femara and we did IUI that time, again, negative. For the third and fourth (November and December) we decided to switch up the meds to see if we'd have better results. I had ultrasounds on day 3-5 of my cycle to make sure everything looked good with my follicles and ovaries. Once I was cleared, I started injecting myself daily for 5 consecutive days with a medication called Gonal-F, which is a follicle stimulating hormone (FSH). I then had to have another ultrasound to see how many eggs I had produced and to see if they were near maturity. After the doctor reviewed it, he would decide when I need to trigger (inject) myself with a drug called Ovidrel which causes ovulation and also matures the follicles (it has HCG in it, the same hormone you produce when your pregnant). We then drove down to Grand Rapids to have the IUI performed. John had to produce sperm, which was washed in their lab, where it would leave the highest quality swimmers to be injected directly into the uterus. After each procedure, I had to take prometrium (progesterone) in the mornings and evenings for two weeks. At the end of two weeks, you get a blood HcG test to see if you are pregnant. If not, the process starts all over again! 
 Me in a hotel room the night before November IUI, exhausted!
The view from our hotel room

September, October, November, December 2013 all failed cycles, one natural with medication and the other three with medication and IUI's. The progesterone was making me moody. I was constantly at the doctor being poked and prodded. All the traveling we did, since we live 2 hours away from the fertility clinic was starting to take it's toll. The medications were just starting to make me feel really out of sorts and my pain level would sky rocket every time I was off the hormones. 

We've decided to take a break from the medications. I really believe that my body can get pregnant on it's own it did last year, twice. In retrospect, I suppose we just wanted to increase our chances of getting that positive test. I've learned so much through this process, I've never lost my hope. Sometimes you just need to sit back on the sidelines and observe what is happening around you. Always remember to listen to that little voice deep inside that is telling you something is not quite right, because most of the time that gut feeling is right. I feel like I need to take the control back. No doctor or nurse knows me better then I know myself. And one day, my destiny, whatever it may be, will be fulfilled. The creator knows the desires of my heart. And I am content with that.



Monday, January 20, 2014

Our journey to a family (Part 1)

Some women are born with this innate biological urge to get married, buy a house and start a family, PRONTO! I've never been THAT woman. I've always been career minded and had a sense of adventure, I guess I'd never really considered having children. Even after marriage with my husband, the years flew by and one day I figured we'd better have "the talk" to make sure we were both on the same page. We both agreed that we liked our 
independence and ability to chose what we wanted to do within a moments notice. The "if it happens it happens" approach was for us. We were content on spoiling our niece and nephew, but we knew parenting was a 100% commitment and definitely not like babysitting.

And then, after 9 years together, on a trip to Chicago on St. Patrick's Day 2012, we conceived a child. I remember looking at the positive pregnancy test with disbelief as I showed my husband. I felt stupefied and the look on my face matched. John on the other hand looked as if he had just won the lottery. He immediately went on the internet to calculate our due date. December 13th was our EDD. We'd have the scariest, coolest and best Christmas present ever! 

My pregnancy was not easy. The month before I had been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and was just starting to feel a little relief from the medication I was on after years of agony. I had to stop taking it, as it was a Class C drug and not approved while pregnant. As my body quickly started changing, on came the morning sickness. I'm talking about 24/7 gut wrenching nausea. I could not cook in my house for several months. Everything made me ill. I craved food that I NEVER ate. My mouth watered like a hyena. I was miserable. The only thing that kept me going was, well, that I had to!! I kept praying vigilantly that my symptoms would ease up by the 3rd month like everyone was suggesting it would. By the 4th month I started to see the light. The sickness lightened up a bit where I could function. I could barely wait to know what the sex of my baby was. I worked at the hospital, and at 17 weeks I had my friend in Ultrasound give me a scan to see if she could tell early what I was having. "Unless it has a really tiny penis, you're having a girl" she told me. Hearing this news both scared and shocked me. I had pictured a boy the entire time. A GIRL!? Someone that is going to look up to me in every way!? (terrifying!!) I was happy, regardless. I was having a child and it was starting to get very real. 




After sharing the news with my hubby, in our excitement, we went to buy our first outfits for her. As much as I wanted to buy every cute outfit I saw, I restrained myself JUST in case the scan was incorrect and we were having a male! I knew it could be a possibility. I bought a breast pump and a co-sleeper. I started putting together a nursery.  One day while sitting on the porch eating Italian ice, I asked John what he thought of the name Mia. He liked it. Our daughters name was chosen. 

In my 19th week, one evening before going to bed I used the rest room. When I wiped and saw the tiniest tint of pink on the tissue. I was not alarmed. My body was going through so many changes, I figured it was one of them. Just to a make sure, I called my OB/GYN the next morning. The nurse told me to come on in, that I most likely had a urinary tract infection. Me and my husband came into the office, I gave a urine sample. They could not see any trace of an infection, so they wanted me to wait for a physical exam. I was on the table and and the nurse examined me, and then left the room. She came back in with the physician. "I'm so sorry, but your membranes are protruding and you are going to have to go directly to the hospital. You're going to have the baby, I'm sorry there is nothing we can do". What? How did this happen, what do you mean? I started crying and my world shattered. How could all the plans and hopes and dreams I had for my daughter end like this? 

We left the doctors office and went straight to Labor and Delivery where I was admitted. I was scared. Nurses came in and checked me periodically. They kept telling what to expect, that the baby may just come suddenly without warning. I was not having any contractions or any other sign of pre-term labor, so I did not understand how this could be the end of everything. I did know that at 19 weeks, Mia's lungs were not developed enough for her to be able to survive. Every nightmare I had ever imagined was child's play in comparison to this scenario. My family came to visit, they prayed, gave me their support and encouraged me to be strong. 

After two days in the hospital, I still had not delivered my daughter. Her vital signs and mine were steady. My husband started researching, he wanted to know if they could perform a rescue cerclage. A cervical cerclage is a procedure where they close the cervix with a stitch. The doctors listened and said before they would consider such a thing they needed to know that the baby was healthy. They thought my body was rejecting her because of a chromosomal  defect or an infection. They drew blood work which took 2 days to get back from the Mayo Clinic. She looked perfect. I waited another day to have an amniocentesis, and had to wait to another day to have that read. Everything came back normal. They decided they would attempt to do this risky procedure. It's not typically done when the amniotic membranes are bulging PAST the cervix, that's why it's called a "rescue". They were going to try to use a foley catheter to gently push the membranes back up where they needed to be so they could do the stitch. 

I received spinal anesthesia and was prepped for the surgery. The doctors attempted the surgery, but they stopped after their failed attempt. The catheter method was not working and they did not want to rupture the sac. We had come so far, I wanted it to work with every breath of my life. The only option I was given was to go home and on bed rest and see if I could reach viability, which is 24 weeks. That night John started to read medical articles and learned of a method of where they drained amniotic fluid and then attempted to use the catheter to push the sac back. The next morning we found a group of physicians who were experts at this type of procedure at the University of Michigan.  We asked our consulting doctor if we could be referred to them and she transferred orders to have me admitted. 

My husband ran home and got our Jeep Sahara 4 door, blew up an air mattress and made me a bed in the back. I had been on bed rest for 7 days so far, and I needed to be lying down with my hips and legs elevated at all cost. He went and bought a portable urinal and a step stool so I could get into the back of our lifted Jeep. Off we went for our 4 hour drive all the while hoping and praying I would not deliver Mia while we were traveling without any medical attention. We stopped off on a two-track for one awkward and scary bathroom break, but she held on, this girl was tough like her mother!

We made it to the hospital, where they examined me. The admitting doctor said she needed to talk about the plan of approach they wanted to use with her colleagues. I was admitted. The next day I was visited by the physician who would be performing the procedure. He talked to me about the technique they would be using (exactly what the hubby had looked up!) and told me I needed to be on antibiotics for 24 hours before they would attempt it. 

I kept my faith, I rested and stayed positive, I had hope. My in-laws came to visit me. They took John to dinner. He hadn't had a non-hospital meal in 10 days. I told him I would be fine by myself, to go and get some fresh air. As I laid there with just me and my daughter I rolled on my side and looked out the window as the white fluffy clouds rolled by. It was our first time together just her and I. I told her how much I loved her, how much she meant to me, how much she was loved as tears streamed down my face. It was a moment I'll never forget. 

And then that evening, my water broke. I was in denial, not wanting it to be true, pretending like it could be something else. The nurse came in and confirmed the truth. I would not be able to have the surgery. But I was still willing to fight. We had read that the baby could live without the amniotic fluid, but it was a high risk to the mother. I was now 20 weeks along. I knew that she needed the fluid for her lungs to develop, but I wanted to hold on to her as long as I could. The doctors told me I could, but if I started to develop a fever, they would have to induce me, as my health and life would then be in jeopardy. I held on for an hour, and then my body got hot and I got a cold sweat. My body was being infected. The next time my vitals were taken, they told me that my temperature had spiked and I would have to deliver her. 

After 24 hours of contractions I delivered my Angel. 

Mia Lee Pak was born on July 27th, 2012 at 10:12 p.m. She passed away at 10:45 p.m. She weighted 10.7 oz and measured 9.75 inches. 



I left the hospital with a diagnosis of incompetent cervix. With any future children I would be a high risk pregnancy and advised to have a cerclage at 12 weeks to prevent future loses. 

We coordinated with a nearby funeral home in Ann Arbor and the hospital to have her body released to us and we would deliver her directly to our local funeral home. I was wheeled out of the hospital in a wheel chair with my tiny baby wrapped in blankets. The 4 hour drive home we took turns driving and holding her. We both wanted the opportunity to go over every aspect of her, to have it burned in our memories. To marvel at how much she looked like both of us. At times it was heart breaking and at other moments it just felt like we had a sleeping baby that we were going to bring home to cherish. The hardest moment was arriving at the funeral home and leaving Mia, a piece of me, a piece of my husband, made by our LOVE. 

I am so grateful for the time I got to spend with my daughter. I see her in the morning sun, I see her in the wind that blows gently on the trees on a warm summer night. I see her in every beautiful thing I lay eyes on upon this earth. I am blessed to be her mother.


This is part 1 of our journey to a family.. stay tuned for part 2..

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Louis Vuitton Monogram Empreinte Fascinante Review

Being a woman, we do so much that it's important to recognize ourselves and all our day to day efforts. I'm a Taurus, so I have absolutely no problem treating myself, I know I'm worth it! I work hard, play hard and I like luxurious and quality products. This year I ended all my accomplishments with a gift to myself and I'd like to do a post on it since the lack of reviews online in this particular style.



I had been looking for a new handbag for a few months now, and was actually debating on getting a Louis for over a year. While in Chicago last spring I went into the Louis Vuitton on the Magnificent Mile  and tried on numerous bags. I was not sold on any of the styles and decided to search more online before I made any decisions. Something pulled me back to the Louis Vuitton website where I came across the Monogram Empreinte leather and fell in LOVE! I was leaning towards the Speedy Bandouliere 25 in the color Infini. After Christmas we visited the in-laws and my hubby bought himself a new Burberry bag for his laptop so I jumped right on over to the Louis store to "look" at the bag again. I tried on the Bandouliere. It was beautiful, but it was bigger then I expected and I wanted a bag that was structured and wouldn't loose it's shape. Also, something I didn't have to rummage through to find my things in like I was doing with my Marc Jacobs. Plus it needed to not cause me more shoulder and upper back pain then I was already in! And then, I saw the Fascinante. I tried it on and became torn between the color Neige, which is a white color, and this color Grenat, which is the dark brown. You can see which one I went with. The bag comes in 12 colors. On to the review! 



What's wonderful about this bag is how many styles you can wear it in! It can be worn as a shoulder bag with a long strap, shoulder bag with a short strap, cross body and a clutch! 
 Front No Strap
 Front w/strap and flash
 Front clasp close up
 Front inside cover
 Inside interior compartments
 Backside
 Backside up close
 Backside pocket
 Backside pocket interior
Up close of adjustable strap hardware

The hardware on the Fascinante is golden brass. All of the hardware and rivets on the bag are stamped Louis Vuitton. The front closure has an S-lock which is iconic for Louis bags. It comes with keys so you can lock it if need be. The inside is very roomy which is so deceiving! It has 4 interior compartments, one of which has a zippered pocket. I'm able store my phone, a compact, a small hand sanitizer, lip gloss and my Michael Kors wallet which is by no means small and still have TONS of left over room without the purse feeling bulky. I'm happy that I can keep everything organized and separate, which means things are super easy to find!! The back pocket has a convenient magnetic clasp and is a great place to put something that you want to access fast (where I usually keep my cell phone). There is also a inner small pocket to stash things as well. 

This bag is made of the highest quality calfskin. It's soft and durable. You do not want to treat this bag with any type of cleaner or protectant, as it will compromise the color and nature of the bag. You also need to keep the bag away from water, prolonged exposure to the sun and lotions which also could change the condition of it. As far as scratches or ding marks, as long as you don't run it along side a brick wall you shouldn't have any issues, it's pretty resilent (the LV sales lady gave me the advice about the brick wall!) If you do get a stain or blemish on your bag I recommend taking it a professional purse and handbag cleaner for their recommendation. Louis Vuitton stores can also give you advice as an in store service.

If you're looking for a mid sized shoulder/crossbody bag and are in the market for high quality and style, for $2,200.00 you can own this gem. It's worth it and so are YOU



 

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

My battle with an Invisible Illness

It all started when I was 27 year old. I was living in the Metro Detroit area with my boyfriend (now husband) of 5 years. We were living the average life of young ambitious adults. High pressure jobs, poor nutrition and a hefty social life that sometimes brought us home in the wee hours of the next day! I felt invincible, and a healthy lifestyle to me was eating chicken tenders, drinking on the weekends and dancing off hundreds of calories!

While at my desk one day at my office, I was working along and felt a sudden 'pop!'. It came from my head. Suddenly everything faded to black. When I started to come to I was very confused as to what had happened. I figured it was a vasovagal episode and went to get some fresh air and water. From that day forward I started to have weird neurological symptoms. I was dizzy and felt nauseated. My hands and legs went numb. I had shortness of breath and weird chest pain. I couldn't remember simple things and was at loss for words when I wanted to speak. I did not feel the same and I could not understand what had happened to me.


Over the course of the next 5 years (2007-2012) I went to see every type of specialist you can think of. Family Physicians, Gastroenterologist, Neurologist, Rheumatologist, Physical Therapists, Pain Clinics and Psychologist. In 2009 I had an episode where I fainted and hit my head at my home. From that day forward, my symptoms progressed exponentially and pain seared through every part of my body. I had every diagnostic test imaginable, ruling out common and obscure diseases and conditions. I was told that I was developing an anxiety disorder by one E.R. physician, as years went by and no one could find a cause for my pain or understand the severity of the debilitating symptoms I dealt with everyday. Most of the doctors I saw believed the pain I was experiencing was real, but they did not have the answer to what it was. I started looking into the Mayo Clinic, I needed to know what was wrong with me and I was at my wits end, and was barely functioning. I decided to make an appointment at the University of Michigan and in February 2012 I found a Rheumatologist who finally diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia. I had a name for the disorder, which I was ecstatic about, but now, what kind of treatment was going to help me? 

For those of you unfamiliar with what Fibromyalgia feels like, below are a list of my symptoms.
  • Moderate or severe fatigue and decreased energy 
  • Insomnia or waking up feeling just as tired as when I went to sleep 
  • Stiffness upon waking or after staying in one position for too long 
  • Difficulty remembering, concentrating
  • Abdominal pain, bloating, nausea 
  • Tension or migraine headaches
  • Jaw and facial tenderness 
  • Numbness or tingling in the face, arms, hands, legs, or feet 
  • Hard to do physical activities without lots of pain
  • A feeling of swelling in the hands  
  • Dizziness
  • Knots in upper back
  • Widespread pain throughout body
  • Problems hearing, ringing in ears
  • Shortness of breath
  • Muscle spasms in legs, arms back 
  • Slurred speech 
  • Pins and needle sensation, Numbness, itching, burning, tearing, stabbing sensation 


The McGill pain scale shows the level of pain Fibro patients feel compared to other ailments, so you can get a real world idea.

There are a plethora of medications approved to use for the disease, from pain meds, anti-depressants, muscle relaxants and sleep medications. I myself have negative effects from most medications. I'm very sensitive to drugs and usually suffer from the side effects. I tried Neurontin, which is a anti-seizure medication, for a few months and it only took the edge off the intensity of my pain, and I felt like a zombie on it. I also take Hydrocodone if I have an extreme flare up. It's usually my last line of defense before I have to go to the Emergency Room (which I have not had to do in a few years, thankfully). I stopped taking medication in 2012 after I learned I was pregnant (more about that topic later!) and decided to take a Eastern Medicine approach to manage my day to day pain. 

Acupuncture: a healing method that that increases blood flow and production of the body’s natural painkillers. Acupuncture involves stimulating points on the body by inserting thin needles into the skin. I try to schedule an appointment every other week to keep my blood from becoming stagnant and make sure it's moving to all the areas of my bodies as it should be. 
Cupping therapy: an ancient Chinese form of alternative medicine in which practitioners believe mobilizes blood flow in order to promote healing. Glass cups are lit on fire and then placed on your skin which creates a suction and brings blood to the surface of your skin. I usually receive this therapy when I'm in a bad flare. The cupping does leave bruising which will usually takes a few weeks to go away.  
Massage: an integral part of therapy for fibromites is massage. The healing touch of a certified masseuse on the painful muscles, tendons, ligaments and soft tissue should be done weekly. I try to go as much as I can, my insurance does not cover this therapy, but I go a few times a month at least. 
Diet: I eat a gluten free and mostly pescetarian diet. I also don't eat dairy, and stay away from sugar. Caffeine is also a trigger for me as well. I stay away from packaged food as its processed with chemicals and preservatives.
Yoga: one of the frustrating things about this condition is that I can NOT do any kind of strenuous exercise. Anything that is repetitive or heavy will hurt me BAD. I can not lift weights or do any rigorous cardio. I was very happy to find that I can do yoga. I practice twice a day and it has made a tremendous change in my life. I hurt less when I stick to my routine and I really like the lean muscle it's given me.
Meditation: quieting the mind and becoming conscious can really transform everything that you do. Being in chronic pain, you really need to remodel your brain to control and lessen the signals it's being given. The technique of meditation is to become aware of your pain, but not try to run away or fixate on it. By letting it be and being mindful of it, you come to terms and can control it. I practice in the morning and evening. It's been a great tool for my physical and mental health. You must learn to master your mind.

I truly believe that a holistic approach to well being should be your first approach. Most of the things listed above are considered "Alternative Therapies" but I think they should be your first choice when promoting wellness. I also believe that centuries of human beings have proved that the body has the ability to support itself. Conventional treatment is not your only option. Please explore your choices, you are the master of your destiny and you have to take your own health in your hands!  I am not pain free, every day is still a struggle, but now I realize I can choose to live the best day I possibly can with some of the tools I use to manage my health. 




Wednesday, January 8, 2014

How to Decorate for Winter AFTER Christmas

All the merry making and celebrations are pretty much over after the Christmas/New Year holiday. I like to take down my Christmas tree BEFORE the New Year. Although it's kind of sad, it also feels refreshing to get the space back. BUT, things just seem kind of drab minus the lights and festiveness. So, how do you decorate after the holiday? Valentines and St. Patrick's Day are not really around the corner, and it's still winter, but that doesn't mean you can't give your home a fresh new look!

Some of the decorations that you used for Christmas may translate nice into a winter motif. I like to stick to whites with pops of green from live plants. I also like to add a little sparkle to keep with that new year attitude of fresh new beginnings. Here's a peek inside my home to give you an idea of the look I went with. 

(my fireplace/console)
Stick with clear glass candelabras for a sophisticated, but light and airy feel. All of the candles I purchased at JoAnn Fabrics during the holidays. The gold pine cone on the right is also a candle I purchased 2 holidays ago, I like how it adds a feeling of nature to the grouping. The sphere/star on the left I purchased at Pier 1 last year on clearance.
(living room wallspace)
I've had this silver deer mount about 3 years from Pier 1, it's something that I keep on the wall year round. You can really decorate it with any theme you wish. The letter tags, one with my husbands initial and one with mine, are from Crate and Barrel I got during the holidays a few years back. The edges are rolled in crushed German glass that has a faint sparkle to them. I like to keep them out during the winter, they give me an old world feel and help personalize the decor.
  (kitchen counter top)
 This white poinsettia is from a local nursery I got at the beginning of December. The base was wrapped in gold foil which made it really Christmasy. I took off the gold foil, went into my garden shed and found a galvanized bucket from the summer to put it in. Voila! Instantly looks like a winter garden. 
 (living room side table)
The side table in my living room needed a little something. I filled a glass star dish from the Dollar Tree with left over gold pine cones and added rattan glitter spheres in silver and gold from Pier 1. The lamp base you see in the background is crystal and from Restoration Hardware. It really goes with everything!
(living room sofa)
In November we purchased a new coach from West Elm, it's the Henry Sectional in Dove gray performance velvet and I'm in love with how comfy it is. To give it a nice winter touch I bought two of the Martha Stewart Reversible Cable Knit throws in Ivory from Macy's after Christmas. I originally bought one for myself, but then my husband found out how warm and cuddly it was and he had to get his own, lol! The outside is sweater material and the inside is sherpa!! The pillow was purchased in November at Pier 1 and it's sold out. It's a velvet material with a jeweled snowflake on it. It goes well with the other ombre green velvet pillows that I have on the sofa.
(dining room table)
 White roses are a must in the winter! There is just something about seeing the whiteness of the flowers and the whiteness of the snow, it seems to make everything seem like it's being made new again and the color will come soon enough. (plus, you can get red roses next month!)
(kitchen windowsill)
This is in my kitchen window. The fern was in a green foil from the holiday, I simply took it out and found a white vase I had. Mr. Owl is something I had bought last year that was in with Christmas decorations I think at Target. I thought he would be sweet for the winter months with it's soft white feathers. Lastly, the mercury glass hurricane is also from the holiday, purchased at TJ Maxx. I have the glass filled half way with water and dropped a floating candle in it. I love lighting it at night and watching the flames flicker off the bird and greenery. Looks like a real forest scene!
(top of kitchen window)
Above the whimsical scene in the kitchen is a "banner" I made that spells my last name. The felt letters I got about 4 years ago at JoAnn Fabrics in those dollar bins they have near the check out. I like the fact that the letters are white and are wintery with the snowflakes and holly cutouts. I attached the letters to silver sewing thread and it's draped from cabinet to cabinet in the kitchen and secured at the top of the cabinets with thumb tacks. I get so many compliments on this simple idea I had to make this and it gives a lot of impact.
(dining room shelf)
The white pine cones sprayed with glitter are from Michaels. I had an wooden bowl I usually set my bananas in (ha!) and there you go, instant winter for a shelf in the dining room!
 (in dining room and living room plants)
I reused these birds nests from my Christmas tree in my house plants. They are on sticks and all you have to do is stick them down in the dirt. It catches your eye and adds that sparkle. I have the birds nests in silver and gold. Very cute! 
(bedroom nightstands)
 Last but not least, into our bedroom. The lamp is from Pier 1 and called the Exhibit Lamp. We've had them for a few years and they are just so fun to decorate. The top of the base it open, so you can put decorative items in it. For Christmas it looked just like this, but I hung red and green mini Christmas bulbs from the top of the glass. All I did was remove the bulbs so it feels wintery. The picture is not the best quality, but in the bottom of the lamp are white aquarium pebbles and gold pine cones. EASY! 

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I hope this gives you some inspiration to reuse some of the decor you already have. Make your own little gallery with inexpensive accessories. Keep it light and airy since the days are short and the nights are long. Just remember, we want to add/reflect as much light as possible in these colds months. Enjoy getting creative, there is no wrong or right!